At the crossroads
My anaesthetic journey started in 2016 as a core trainee, but
it was back in 2012 when I first applied for anaesthesia. Four
attempts and an 18-month old child later, I finally embarked on the
trip. Core training came with its own challenges, not to mention
COVID-19, and the other C word which threw a curve ball for many
– curriculum change. Despite this the thrill, excitement and learning
curve was fuel enough to see me through my core training.
Next came the task of ST3 applications in January 2021.
Completing my core training, sending ST3 applications, and
having two children isolating with COVID while I was sitting the
primary FRCA vivas, made it a pretty busy month! At the end
of it all I seriously questioned what I was doing with my life?
What did I want to achieve in the next 10 years? What brought
me joy? As much as I loved practising anaesthesia and could
honestly count the days I haven’t wanted to go to work on one
hand, my career was not the only aspect of life that defined me.
At this point I explored the idea of not going on to ST3 training.
What would be the alternative? I looked into the options of
Trust Grade, Fellowship and Specialty Doctor posts, all of
which I was very naïve about as I had only ever known life as a
trainee doctor. Coming straight out of medical school into the
foundation programme, followed by core medical then core
anaesthetic training, I did not know which direction to take.
What I did know was that the emotional burden of training and
the hurdles it came with were exhausting me. I was running on
empty. I needed a break. So that’s exactly what I did!
I have tailored my development and progression to my needs and interests, not forgetting the ideal work-life balance and its benefits to my overall wellbeing. Being a Specialty Doctor is what allowed this.
I took a break from training. My decision to take up a Specialty
Doctor post was influenced by my clinical lead at the time
who had built his own career as a Specialty Doctor, and his
accomplishments were admirable. The idea of not having to
go through rigorous national applications, and being able to
progress up the ranks through experience, was appealing. The thought of not needing to commute to a different location every
year and staying away from my two little girls was welcome. The
ability of tailoring a job plan to fit with the needs of my young
family seemed a perfect solution. Knowing that I could retire
from the job if I chose eased the anxiety that had built up over
the preceding year.
I started my Specialty Doctor post with the mindset that I would
review things in a year’s time to consider whether to jump back
onto the training bandwagon or continue to carve out my own
career path. Now in the second year of my Specialty Doctor
journey, I can say it was the right decision. I have achieved so
much in the past 18 months: working solo lists; second oncall
out-of-hours; BMA LNC SAS representative; reciprocal
mentoring programme with an executive director of the trust;
SAS committee member at the Association of Anaesthetists.
I have tailored my development and progression to my needs
and interests, not forgetting the ideal work-life balance and its
benefits to my overall wellbeing. Being a Specialty Doctor is
what allowed this. I look forward to the endless opportunities
this path holds for me.
Nilofer Ahmed
SAS, Airedale General Hospital
Twitter: @niloferdarr